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Although I didn't know it at the time, I was a pioneer. I was a regular viewer of The X-Files long before anyone thought of the term X-phile, long before a cult following developed. Long before anyone else was watching.

I missed the very first episode, but found myself watching the next one at Ken S. Goering's recommendation. Thereafter, we plopped ourselves in front of the TV every Friday for the next adventure of Scully and Mulder.

But after a couple seasons, my interest flagged and I quit watching. Which is right when everyone else discovered the show.

People would wax enthusiastic about their new discovery to me, but look baffled when I responded that my favorite episodes concerned Eugene Toombs, the liver-eating man with the malleable body. They'd never heard of him.

I imagine, with the advent of reruns, that all X-philes are now familiar with Eugene's two elastic appearances, but I can say with all superiority that I saw him first-run.

But then my responses started indicating my disinterest, which drew disbelief from those brimful with the zeal of new converts. They couldn't understand how I could quit watching such an awesome show.

So what did happen? Where exactly did the romance go awry?

The long answer involves my waning interest in all that television had to offer in general, as well as specifics of the direction The X-Files appeared to be headed.

The short answer is: flashlights.

No show that relies so much on blinding white light as its exclusive special effect deserves the reverence The X-Files receives. When I realized I was starting to lose patience with this idiotic excuse for an effect, I turned the TV off.

Kym O'Connell and Mark Todd, members of the new X-philes breed, tried to change my mind. "They don't do that anymore," they assured me.

So I watched the episode that night (something about a South American panther stalking through a museum). When we reached the second instance of gratuitous flashlight use before the episode's mid-point, I turned my back on The X Files.

Really, what is wrong with flipping the light switch on when entering a room?

But then my sister Tern walked among the converted and became an X-phile. Since our heretic sister Tia wouldn't discuss it with her, it fell to me to try to keep up by reading TV Guide synposes.

Then came the movie. Tern, of course, loved it, but so did Shannon, who is not an X-phile, so I thought I'd give it another try. Plus, Terri assured me there was only one flashlight moment in the movie.

Technically, that was correct. But she didn't take into account the blinding white light of car headlights, helicopter searchlights, even the primitive precursor of the flashlight, brandished torchlight.

And where did this whole conspiracy thing come from? It cropped up while I wasn't watching, obviously. But who exactly is willing to swallow that aliens have lain dormant for millions of years on our planet, waiting for just that right moment to arise and take over the human population? And that some people know about this and seem to be helping the aliens?

Moreover, how long can Scully sustain her disbelief? She was in the mother ship, by Kosh, and yet she still tells Mulder there's no such thing as aliens. Of course, by the end of the same episode, she's telling Mulder we all have alien DNA in our genes.

If I'm not mistaken, she's been abducted and impregnated by experimenting aliens, discovered the vaults where all of humankind's DNA records are kept on file, and witnessed about 22 forms of unexplained phenomena every year for the past five or so - and still she doesn't believe in aliens or ghosts or anything else.

This has to wear thin after awhile, even among X-philes.

I started watching The X-Files again this season, since it turned out the premiere wasn't until late November. (Did David Duchovny demand that in his contract as well?)

These episodes have pointed out what I once liked about the show: the witty repartee and excellent chemistry (which doesn't have to be sexual) between the two leads, even if both of them are characters I would never want to spend time with in real life.

But I just can't get as enthused about it as everyone around me seems to. There's still too much white light, and out of the five or so episodes I've seen this season, three of them have resorted to time warps to keep Scully from remembering the weird phenomena she has encountered.

If I want cheap solutions to the complex problems the writers have concocted, I'll watch Voyager, where they at least know enough to say, "Lights," when they enter a dark room.

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