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The nebula of The Holy Order of Qapla' (henceforth referred to as HOQ or "the cult") formed shortly after Paramount's decision to launch a network of its own instead of syndicating its newest incarnation of Star Trek. UPN, as we all know by now, is a terrible excuse for a network, and its flagship, Star Trek: Voyager, had no ships to follow in its wake. Thus, many television markets, including our local cable company, did not rush to sign up for the fledgling network. Several of us who are Star Trek fans began seeking out friends in other places with access to UPN. At least four sources were located, and gradually a tape-passing network was started.
Eventually, our cable company saw the error of its ways and acquired UPN, but it turned out that of all the people passing tapes, only TL had cable. We continued to pass tapes, but now they were being generated locally. Tape passing led, naturally enough, to group gatherings, where we would bring potluck food and watch a recent episode of Voyager a la Mystery Science Theatre 3000, since the UPN show just begs to be made fun of in every aspect, from writing (or lack thereof) to character development (or lack thereof) to aliens who frequently look like space chickens.
Then TNT acquired Babylon 5, a show unfamiliar to most cult members. TL, however, had been watching since early in the second season, and forced tapes on other members of the group. Most of us became hooked, revering J. Michael Straczynski as a near-deity and regarding Voyager as a poor also-ran.
At first, we barely realized we were a group. Eventually, we came to regard ourselves as a tape-passing group, which is kind of an unwieldy way to refer to oneself. The process required someone who is not One Of Us to realize what we were becoming.
At the time, TL was working in a bookstore, which became the place of transaction for the tapes. Naturally, those people trading tapes were wont to discuss them. A co-worker with no patience for anything science fiction began labeling us a "cult."
Perhaps this should have given us cause to take umbrage. But we chose to embrace the appellation, and readily took to calling ourselves cult members. We even offered ourselves as a research project to college students who needed to write a paper on cults. (Sadly, no one took us up on this offer.) We became the "True Believers" while people such as the co-worker got labeled "heretics."
Still without a formal name, we started a newsletter, offering a contest for naming our cult. The genesis of our name came during one of our fests when Matt, who doesn't own a television and doesn't know a word of Klingon, suggested that Klingons might celebrate Piotr's birthday by flinging an empty Fresca can at Nancy Gs' newly-acquired piano and shouting "Qapla'!" At first we thought this was just a Klingon-sounding grunt and were in fact arguing over the spelling.
But Shannon was sure it was an actual Klingon word, so she looked it up on the 'Net and came up with the proper spelling and definition: "Success!" In the meantime, however, Bob became convinced that "Qapla' " meant "Please use your napkin," and some of the rest of us were willing to go with that thought. The word now serves as our standing greeting and parting, akin to "aloha."
After the naming contest was announced, Matt felt sure our group should be "The Holy Order" of something. TL finished piecing it together for him, so the two became recipients of the prize: a ride on Pete's turbo-charged lawn mower (which they still have not received).
Now that we have a name, a newsletter, an official beverage (Fresca), a secret handsign, glow-in-the-dark t-shirts and a Holy Shield, we can get down to our business, which is having fun. We hold "fests" about once a month. Each fest is organized by a different cult member, who assigns potluck dishes. We play some trivia games, discuss some cult business, and watch some sci-fi, such asVoyager, Babylon 5 or a movie like The Day the Earth Stood Still. We make pilgrimages to Denver for StarFest and StarCon. We also occasionally go to a movie theatre together, most recently to see Galaxy Quest. And we have implemented our Outreach Program to find other like-minded souls, particularly those who find themselves surrounded by heretics.
We try to be an all-encompassing group. Almost all of us liked Star Trek: The Next Generation and the original Trek series. We have a few members who watch Babylon 5 but not Voyager, and maybe one or two left who don't watch B5. We also have members who don't own television sets and only watch the shows at our fests. Some of our newer members lean heavily toward Star Wars and there is a fringe contingent of X-Philes. Recently we were asked where we stand on The Jetsons, although that has not yet come up in formal committee discussion.
So far, all of our members have some tie to Gunnison: either they live here now, or grew up here, or once lived here, or are friends with someone who lives here. But we are hoping to go galactic with our organization someday, and we have not turned down anyone who has asked to join.
Financially, our members skew to the Not Rich, so we try to operate as cheaply as possible. To recoup printing costs on our newsletter, G Force, we charge 50¢ for local distribution and $1.50 for mailed copies. We have t-shirts and sweatshirts, but these are not required for membership.
Other than a shared interest in televised sci-fi, our interests are varied. So far, we range in age from 2 to 50+. Educationally, we range from not-yet-graduated-from-high-school to Ph.D., and professionally we are everything from goatherds to biologists, sales clerks to screenprinters. A surprising number of us are librarians.
If you aren't too reverent about Voyager, but enjoy B5, other Trek shows, Star Wars and/or The Jetsons; and if you like mixing your sci-fi with fun, then you might want to consider petitioning for membership. Contact us by semdong e-mail toThe Cabana Boy .
